Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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