A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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George Bush.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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I C U P White stuff

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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