Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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