What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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diarrhea.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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