What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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I hear Lebron has a new phone. He has it on silent all the time. It's because he doesn't want to disturb anyone around him while they prepare for important games in which he will be an indispensable part of, especially during the 4th quarters of the NBA Finals.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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What's a joke? Funny

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What is the the mistake..... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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