Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

you know what they say... hydrate or die

Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

Gale swallows.

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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