A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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