A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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Derp

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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