A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +23

an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops