Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

thumb_up thumb_down -5

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops