Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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Prostitution is bad.......

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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