Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

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What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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