A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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