One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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