Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what happened to your carpool? they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Jovan

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops