Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

whats gay and american? a gay american

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

I'm rick james bitch

Adele walks into a bar. The barman says she's too ugly hahahahahahahahahahhahahahha lololololololololololololol

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

Know what's funny? Jokes.

Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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