Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

Q: What is black, white and red all over? A: Interracial sex during the time which the bible has decreed as abhoration.

What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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