A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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no really what are ur names?

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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