Get up Look in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -11

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops