Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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bangers and mash?

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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