Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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