Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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