How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

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look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

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Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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So a seal walks into a club.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops