what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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you.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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96

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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A black guy gets arrested...

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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