How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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