Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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