Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

Read a Book.

Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

Stop. Seriously stop.

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

women's rights

Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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