Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops