Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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if you don't like this you're gay

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops