Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

Have you ever heard of a goose?

whats green and slimy? green slim

What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

7+5=12

A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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