An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Heskey time.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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