A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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whats a joke

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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