What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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The queen having a shit

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Neil Lewis

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hi dave

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what is the color of a burp burple

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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What's the difference between a duck?

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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