Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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