the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats funny about this joke? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops