- Anti Joke

Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Penis

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.