I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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