Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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dry handjob

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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