How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Rush Limbaugh

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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