A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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A man walks into a bar

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops