I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

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what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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