Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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10 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? 1 of the Mexicans.

A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

Chuck Norris is dead......

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

Gay republicans

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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