A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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Obama

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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