Knock knock. Come right on in.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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hola said the chinese man

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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