Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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