Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops