If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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