John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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