What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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