So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

Hi.

Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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