what do you call obama a dumbass

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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Solvemedia fun: It says happy trails, a good one. Then it says Your answer below. ANSWER TO WHAT? To happy trails? Is that even a question? Is this world gonna explode? Is Santa real? Will Jesus ever return? I This and much more in the next exciting episode of Dragon NutZ SEE!

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

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A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops