Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Pianos.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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womens rights.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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